Now i'm sure you're all thinking: 'How do TopJLax consistently deliver such remarkable slampieces for BOTW?' Unfortunately it is not down to a very advanced vetting process, that lists hotties, rates attributes, judges particular factors, but is actually a far more simple process. I saw 'The Girl Next Door' a few nights ago and it made me remember how hot Elisha Cuthbert is. Enjoy.
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This week's BOTW is the new Mrs Orlando Bloom. Now normally I would only fain a slight hint of jealousy when talking about Bloom, a man who is definitely good looking, but is endowed with no actual acting talent. However now that he is betrothed to this bona fide slampiece I say well played sir, you are truly an epic human being. She is such a smokeshow that I feel my boring, rambling, compulsory piece of blurb before our BOTW will mostly be ignored as your eyes will have wandered by now, so here you go, enjoy. My favourite BOTW so far...
I need to start this week's BOTW by apologising for the lateness, again, but I have been on holiday and therefore have only been able to get this up now. This weeks selection has not been chosen because of a particular film release, news story, hilarious anecdote I have been privy to, she has been chosen purely because she is a straight-up-and-down smokeshow. The only reason to tune into an episode of Smallville, unless you're really hungover and desperate to be numbed back to sleep, is the collection of hotties that the show producers trot out to keep their fanbase coming back for more. Durance plays Louis Lane, the forever troublesome damsel in distress that Superman has a rather distinct penchant for and my god she does it well: If there is ever an opportunity for her to be in a bikini or some sort of other raunchy dress-up the show makes sure she is in it, and for that we applaud them...
I'd firstly like to start this BOTW blurb by apologising to you, our loyal readership, for how late this post is in the week. I have been ridiculously busy with work, but I promise to try to be more prompt in future. The reason I have chosen the great Kelly Brook this week is to celebrate the opening of Piranha 3D, which Brook stars in. Yes, the trailer looks rubbish. Yes, the story is ridiculous. Yes, her supporting cast mostly resemble people with some sort of vague learning difficulty. But should you not go to it because of these reasons: No. Why? Because it contains this absolute smokeshow, in a bikini, in 3D, and if Nuts has taught us anything it's that 3D slampieces are mega-awesome. Enjoy.
I was recently accused of choosing 'chavvy' girls for Babe Of The Week and it made me feel rather slighted that someone had dared to criticise the holy institution that is this weekly column. However, in keeping with my awesome selections and claiming that they are even remotely topical, this weeks smokeshow is none other than the soon to be ex-Mrs-Tiger-Woods. Allegedly Tiger admitted to having over 120 affairs with different women, inluding a number of porn stars and his rather young neighbour's daughter. This weekend he absolutely tanked at the WGC Bridgestone, carding his worst ever score since the beginning of his PGA career, and many put this down to his chronic failings as a decent human being and the emotional upheaval that it has caused. However, we are not here to judge, we are here to oggle, so without any further ado here is Tiger's massively hot ex-wife.
Babe Of The Week: Rosie Jones - Yowza... 08/02/2010
It's that time of the week people, the time to get on your 'oggle' and appreciate the fine form of yet another noteworthy slampiece. Rosie Jones is an undeniable smokeshow. She has the whole 'Gemma-Atkinson-chest' thing combined with the 'Marissa-Miller-girl-next-door' thing totally down and it makes us all at TopJLax thank whatever inspecific deity that we may or may not pray to. At some point we will have to have a TopJPoll about the hottest Babe Of The Week, but for now let us please pay homage to a spectacular human being.
This week Megan Fox has been chosen to be our Babe Of The Week for three reasons: to celebrate the US victory in the Lacrosse World Championships with one of their hottest exports, to pay homage to the Iroquois Nationals as they were not able to make it over the pond because of visa issues (Megan Fox is part Native American) and because she is an undeniable smokeshow who needs no lengthy introduction. She was the only reason Transformers 2 was even remotely bearable and we feel that any film with her in it is worth at least one viewing.
Marisa Miller was recently voted as the FHM hottest women in the world and I can fully understand why. She has got it going on. Total slampiece. I might even, controversially, argue that she is the hottest Babe Of The Week so far. After the jump, alongside a good few more photos I have even put in a video of her recent FHM photo shoot, because i'm feeling particularly generous. Enjoy. You can't not.
After a recent television appearance, for Wimbledon 2010, we at TopJLax decided to have Anna Kournikova as our BOTW as it reminded us of just how attractive she is. Sure, everytime you bring her up someone has the tenacity to remind you that she wasn't good at tennis, but Amelie Mauresmo was world no. 1 for a while, so we remind those people to pipe down. Also, look at her: She is a complete smokeshow and we do not feel that we need an excuse to put up pictures....
Although Peter Crouch has been seeing little time on the pitch this World Cup, after seeing these pictures you will not be able to feel sorry for him. Has she cheated on him? Probably. Do we care? Meh. Is she a complete smokeshow? Of course.
'Get your Brits out for the lads'...
'Get your Brits out for the lads'...
